Updated: Apr 21, 2021
Our first date was anything but normal. Homeboy came with a 2-page document with a vision and thought for everything from physical touch to finances. Being the anti-organizer that I am, I was kind of thrown off guard. Couldn't we just wing it, have fun and just see where things landed us? What I didn't know then, was that my future husband had been in relationships where there were no expectations or boundaries set before and they always ended the same. In sin and brokenness. I know now that his 2-page thesis was his attempt to do things God's way instead of his way this time around.
As we started dating/courting I became more and more grateful for that awkward conversation we had that first date. Initially, my natural reflex was to run away from what I felt like limited my freedom. But my experience ended up being the exact opposite of what I thought it would be. I actually felt more free and secure than I'd ever felt in any other relationship. Everything was so clear. I knew where this man was leading me and why. He'd made it clear that Christ was our trajectory.
"Everything was so clear. I knew where this man was leading me and why. He'd made it clear that Christ was our trajectory."
Now, I just want to interject this beautiful scene with some hard truth. J and I had to constantly keep going back to our boundaries- *we talk about the 3 that helped us the most in our latest Youtube video*- because we were so often tempted to cross them. I want to be clear this isn't just about not having sex. Setting boundaries in any relationship especially one with the trajectory of marriage (make sure y'all are on the same page about this btw, don't assume, be explicit) is a must because like in the garden it should really point us to all the things we get to enjoy in light of God's Goodness.
Focus on the joy and what's plentiful. And when it gets too hard - pray, reach out to a friend who will encourage you in the truth, inhale the bible and pray some more.
Whether you're in a relationship or not, what is one boundary that would help bring more freedom in your life right now? Leave a comment below, I want to hear from you!